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SHELO- A person who knows how to be happy though may be sad. I am a woman, a mother, a daughter. I am loving and caring. I have shattered dreams but I have hope.I have a God who arranges everything for me. I may not have a desirable past, but no one can destroy me and I am still standing. All I want is to be accepted and loved for who I am cause that is Me and That is all I can be.

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Thursday, April 16, 2009

Never tired of Holding On...

Life is always full of mystery. Some things are easy to understand but some cannot be fathomed.
One of it's mystery is love. Other people may have a happy ending , while others still thrive on after the love is gone. I just thought to write about this as I was contemplating about things that are used to be but now are not.

I know a story of a girl (let's call her Sel) who has loved beyond compare if you call that love. She still hold on to her love for the guy even the guy never thought of their past anymore. She tried to face the world and proclaimed "it's over, I have moved on", but still in reality she dwelt in a dark wall of despair. Still loving, dreaming, wishing and wanting for Mr. Ex to fall back in her arms again. So sad, as she wasted her heart on loving a person who could never love her in return. He doesn't even toss a single thought about her anymore. Not even by pigeon does he show that he still has a pinch of special feeling for her. But, she still goes on, hurting herself by pretending that all is okay when that guy buzzed her over the chat window. She has even the nerve to ask about the wife of the guy and wished wife would be okay. I mean , she literally wished the wife of Ex to be well. Sel has a big heart anyway. It can love without measure and without question.

People told Sel to move on, let go of the past and embrace what's on the present. She would just give them a self-effacing look with no assurance that she could ever do what they suggested. But, do you think she adores the feeling? Sel absolutely abhor the sad truth that she is still trapped within the strings of uncertainty. She knew very well that holding on would not cause her any positive fruit. She is aware that she is no longer part of his life and wanted also to escape from being imprisoned to extreme emotions that only bring her pain. She is fairly striving to get a grip of reality and be freed from the dreamworld that she is still living. However, no matter what she does it will always come back to him.

Is love then a drug? Can it really cloud your vision and cause one's eyes not to see the things that she ought to see? Though it's so apparent that there is no space left for her in his life and things cannot be , she still cared and never gets tired of caring. I myself pity for this one woman who has been ensnare of her strong emotions that caused her to be wanting, wishing and dreaming for so many years and moments now. I never know when she will be totally freed.

As for her, "though fate leaves me no favor and my heart gets torn, I will never be tired of Holding on...."


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1 comment:

Lollii-Pii said...

That was a rather sedate story. I pity her. Though she wanted to let her heart in liberty from the shackles of agonizing passion, it won't let her. She still clings to those memories where she shares her precious time with him even though he did her no good. Might as well, wait for Mr. Right? She'll move on, perhaps..If not, then it might be her fate to hold on unto her faith..