Couple's Corner: Misunderstandings on Marriage

It's Couple's Corner day as it's Wednesday! I was not able to join last week due to my emergency pregnancy condition that prompted me just to lie down and rest without opening my laptop for couple of days. Sorry Guys, but I hope I can cope up with you all today. You just don't know how I missed this meme.

Last week you were talking about first year of marriage. Well for us, though we have experienced a lot of hardships when it comes to family issues of my husband's side, the Lord still arranged everything for us in a sovereign way. When we went home to the province the first Christmas when we were already married, I was already pregnant with Alikah- my daughter. We directly went home to my family and stayed there. After few days of stay, Zel decided to bring me and faced his family for the first time after the burning issues of disliking and unwanting our marriage.

The moment was somewhat strange. I felt as if it was my first time to see them , yet I have known them for a long time already. The atmosphere was quiet and nobody seemed to utter a single word. Then Zel finally broke the silence. He cried and asked for forgiveness and told them that we were having a baby, his first child. Then his mother cried and hugged him and hugged me. No words were spoken, but that time I knew was the beginning of forgiveness and acceptance. I thanked the Lord and realized that when a marriage is according to His heart's desire no stony heart can't turn into a soft mud.

So moving on, we'll talk about MISUNDERSTANDINGS...

In marriage, we have to remember that God has set terms and duration of marital covenant: 1. one man, one woman, becoming one flesh and 2. for life.. It’s our starting point. It has to be. God said it. When and if we desire to obey God more than we desire to fulfill our own desires, this one definition would radically affect what our marriages look like.

However, human as we are we are still compelled to do the way as we are. We practically still thrive to follow our own opinion, judgment, philosophies and beliefs opposing most of the time our partners. These are the causes of the main problem in marriage: Misunderstanding.

Zel and Me have plenty of them. We normally fight over small matters as I don't usually subject myself to his perceptions and decisions. I tend to overpower him in matters of the home. For example, he wants to cut down the use of electricity and some unnecessary spending, I would always have my defense on that especially if my personal engagements and choices are jeopardize. There are some instances too that we clash when it comes to financial issues that would lead to heathen discussions that would move on to not speaking with each other and letting the sun set without having each one of us lowered our pride. When he would raise his voice on me, I would not allow myself not to fight back with chains of ill- mannered speaking and hitting words that would really piss him off. LOL. ("hindi talaga ako patatalo").. The result , he would become madder at me and would just walk out when he is still able to hold on his temper. Cause if not, he could really box me by the look of his face. (buti nalang umaalis..) He he..

I admit that I am still short of the deeper understanding of the covenant of love , the way the
the Lord has wanted us to see and understand. I have read a message before that said, our husbands or our wives are our daily cross. They are there to correct us, to transform us and be conformed to the image and likeness of Christ. Each one of us has a lot of flaws and if we do not know how to submit ourselves it would cause a battle inside the home as the battlefield. We should all go back to the vows and the covenant we made on the day we sealed our love in the eyes of the Lord and the Law. We should be here for each other through thick and thin.. that would mean, be one flesh, be one soul, be one spirit. “we should view our marriages like a house where once entered, the door is bricked up and any conflicts just have to be worked out”.

I said God’s terms and conditions must be our starting point. He is the ONLY one that allows for the exception (not US). Never let the sun go down without saying sorry and fixing things with your husband... Always subject your hearts , for the picture that God has reserved to reveal His glory–the picture of eternal covenant between a husband and wife.

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Happy Thanksgiving to those in the US!!!! The Lord is good all the time....