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SHELO- A person who knows how to be happy though may be sad. I am a woman, a mother, a daughter. I am loving and caring. I have shattered dreams but I have hope.I have a God who arranges everything for me. I may not have a desirable past, but no one can destroy me and I am still standing. All I want is to be accepted and loved for who I am cause that is Me and That is all I can be.

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Friday, September 12, 2008

One Great Love



Do you believe that we always have One Great Love?

Well, I do. This person may or may not be your first love, he could or may not be your present lover and partner but he remains there having a special place in your heart.

I know a story of lovers who used to be so close and so in love with each other. They are the best of friends, being there for each other in the ups and downs of life. Girl loves the boy so much and boy feels the same. However, fate is something we'll never know. Something happened that separated their almost 5 years of great togetherness. Disbelief and lack of trust crushed what they have started to build. They parted ways, Girl got pregnant by some guy that never also became her husband.

Years passed, boy has moved on, but the poor girl still dwelt on her love towards him. She still has his photograph hidden under her pillow that she slept on every night. She still held it close to her heart in tears while she whispered prayer and beg the Lord to listen to make him love her again. But the Lord seemed not to listen. She tried to deflect her mind from the thoughts of him by entertaining some other suitors later on. I remembered one time, she was in all-smile, mouth very wide as she announced to herself " FINALLY I'M OVER YOU", as she thought the feeling was gone. She had a new boyfriend and believed that he started to fall for that new guy. But it was all fake! Fake in the sense that all was just a make-believe to herself. Again the same old Feeling of loving "ex" haunted her. The sad truth, "she is still in love with him, never did it fall ".

Girl , at a moment in time knelt in prayer and beg the Lord to take this love out of her. This was hurting her, stabbing her and killing her softly more when she knew that boy had another one to cherish. Oh t'was so painful for her to bear , thinking that she was the one who was with him to cherish, to love and to hold, now it was another. She fervently asked the Lord, and that time the Lord seemed to hear. He gave her a husband. Girl was happy having in mind that she would now be free from all the batter of the winds of emotions. She has started her own family.

All looked okay. Family, work, no thoughts of "ex" anymore. That's what she thought... The sad twist sipped in after two years of being married. The feeling that she thought was gone, suddenly all poured back in. That feeling that she was fighting so hard to move away, is there again. The sad thing is she felt so guilty, not only for her husband, for her family, but moreover to the Lord. She should love her husband with all his heart, shutting the doors for other and leaving no room for the past. But no matter what she does, thoughts of him lingers, dreams with him happened every time she sleeps. Some cold nights , she is waken from appalling loneliness of him that made her cry to utter despair. Girl is fighting back this feeling, she doesn't want to be like this cause she knows whatever happens , it will never be the same again. It was ten long years since they parted ways but it is still HIM that occupies her heart. She knows she is happy with her kids and family, but something is lacking.

She must be this strong to have gone all through this way. Knowing that her real happiness could never be her's again is shattering.. But girl is still going on, moving on. She knows her only means of being with him is through her dreams. She will go on living this way, knowing that she doesn't exist in his world anymore and leaving her to love and watch him from a world apart.. After all He is her ONE GREAT LOVE.

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