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SHELO- A person who knows how to be happy though may be sad. I am a woman, a mother, a daughter. I am loving and caring. I have shattered dreams but I have hope.I have a God who arranges everything for me. I may not have a desirable past, but no one can destroy me and I am still standing. All I want is to be accepted and loved for who I am cause that is Me and That is all I can be.

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Monday, June 15, 2009

Dear Jesse

I don't know how to send my message to you, just hoping you would be able to read and know.

Dear Jesse,

How are you? It’s been 15 years almost since you left me and those who love you dear. You know that I miss you and have always missed you. Though because of the long years that we have been separated and not breathing the same life anymore, I sometimes forget to think of you, but it doesn’t mean that I have already forgotten you. You are still my Begoy, my very close friend.

I don’t know if you have felt it, every time I see you on my dreams there’s a sense of longing in me, a longing for the things that cannot happen anymore. I long for your embrace so tight that I have always felt comfort. I dream of your sweetness that is beyond compare. I wish that you are still here with me. I miss you so much. I wonder how you would look if you have been alive now. Will you be as handsome as before? Will you have your own family and kids just as me?

There are few that have told me things that I don’t know were true. They said you continued to exist in another dimension and live a normal life there. I want to know the truth. Is there any genuineness about those rumors Goy? I remembered you coming into my dream with those fruits you have given me to taste, those black fruits that I’ve never known what they were. Were those fruits coming from where you live now? Are you really there?

I saw you again last night in our old home. You told me you just live nearby and I would be happy if I come to live with you. Was it you really who have spoken to me through my persistent dreams or was it only a product of my tiredness and weakness. I have these dreams not only recently that some extraordinary people would come to me and let me return to that old house. At first those incidents made me so afraid. But now, I don’t know how I feel when I saw you and have talked to you about living there. Are they just using you just to make me feel calm and be drawn to live with them? I really wanted to know what’s behind these mysteries Goy. I want to know so I could be at peace.

Whatever lies ahead of me, I really would never know. One thing for sure I know of is I miss you and still love you the way we used to when you were alive. Those memories you’ve left will always be treasured till we meet again.

Love You Always,

Shelo






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4 comments:

Mommy Phebie said...

ka kuyaw gud ani mem...mahadlok man sab ta oi...classmate ni nmo sa HS?

sweet_shelo said...

Yes mem, He was my closest classmate in HS. He died a short while after grad by an accident. Sabi nila bayad daw cya sa widening of the road of mis. occ. when he died grabe almost a year ko nya lage g visit sa ako dreams and said he lives now somewhere. Pero dugay nato nahitabo. as in 15 years almost? Basta kuyaw man gud mga pangyayari nako lately connected sa amo old house sa bukid. Naa mag cge sunod sunod nako na naa nagpuuyo didto, u know the other dimension. basta....

jodi said...

so sad, wish ko lang na buhay sya para nabasa nya to kase ramdam ko ang pagmamahal mo sa kanya as friend...rest in peace, jesse...

that's what friends are for
keep shining, keep smiling...napakanta pa tuloy ako ...

yen said...

oi, kinsa man ni? basin kaila ko nga taga atoa ra sad. asa man diay ka karon she? i still haven't got answers from you. i heard u were linked to JP before?