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Thursday, July 30, 2009

The pain of Losing

I suddenly miss Mawmaw..................

Certainly not my boyfriend, not my baby, not my brother or sister..but my childhood pet, a cat. When I was 10 years old I had a domestic cat named MawMaw. He was gray and not a high-breed one but so cute and furry. He furred and furred and meowed and meowed. Such a sweet and playful kitty was he. We had a twenty or more cats around the house but he was my only favorite.

Every early morning he meowed at our bedroom door and my mom would open him up and he would directly tuck inside my blanket and sleep lazily till I get up. I loved the warmth of his little soft and cuddly body and got used to it. I would personally wake up and look for him whenever I sensed that he was not on time in knocking at our door. But when he was there and went inside with me, we slept back together till mid-morning. Mawmaw came to our room everyday and would not really missed it for whatever would make him busy.

Till one day, I did not hear him call out.. No meow.. I was bothered cause I definitely knew that during that time he would come. Till I slept back. During daytime I looked for him but he was nowhere to be seen. I just though maybe he's out somewhere and forgot the worry the whole day as our house is big and normally our cats will just stay in some part of the house where we cannot see them. The night came and I still have not thought about where Mawmaw was. Until the next morning, no Mawmaw again. That time, I was seriously up to my feet. I went out our room and looked for him at every possible place where he could be in our house. The sun rose and I had not found Mawmaw. I started to cry. I cried loudly when Mama asked why. I knelt down in prayer asking the Lord to please let Mawmaw return. I asked mama if we could pray together for Mawmaw, but he just had not returned. There were so many dawn when I would woke up and hoped that I would hear Mawmaw meow outside. But there were just sounds of the cackling of the crows, the chirping of the birds and the barking sometime of the dogs outside. Mawmaw never returned. We could not find any dead body of him also . He just disappeared and never came back. From then on, I never ever shared affection towards pets. I was afraid of losing , the pain was just tormenting and hard to bear...



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